Thursday, January 7, 2010

My life's debaucher

It could be two things. Actually one of them is not a thing. It is a person. But let's just start at the begginig!
You don't know that about me, and I really didn't want to tell it, but I have a problem which always comes back to my mouth. It is herpes. I have it a few times in a year, and I have no idea why it's comes out. Whenever I have that stupid scratchy feeling and I feel that my mouth is a bit hotter than in any other parts, I know that it will be a herpes. And it's gonna be huge. So at these times, I just don't want to go anywhere, I'm hiding away from even my family, so how are they expecting me to go to school?
The point is that today when I woke up I felt that my mouth is drawing. I immediately know what's going on, and I lost my cheerfulness for all of my life. Really. I mean I know that I can be happy if that's my biggest hygiene problem, when millions of people have the worst disease, like my dad, but I feel like I'm disgusting. So I went to school today, I don't know how I made myself but I did, and going tomorrow too, but I asked my mom to buy me those bandages for herpes. I don't know how it will work but I heard goog things about that. But still, tomorrow I have to go to school, and OMG, she wlill buy it only tomorrow  evening! I just hate hiding away from people while we have a conversation. I'm the person who hates when somebody looks away instead of looking at your eyes during talking. So I feel really-really bad, and everybody who had herpes before really knows what I'm talking about.
And the other thing. I mentioned the seat order, and of course I have to sit next to that guy who I hate the most. I mentioned him before in many entries cause I was so mad at him. So right night, when  I have herpes and I feel ugly, I have to sit next to that jerk. too This week is not the best for me. And Merci just called me ,and she always wants me to go to spinning, but she just picked the best time to call me. So we were shouting with each other, cause she is just unbearable if she wants something. Unbelieveable. And I have to study again. Like all week long! I'm so tired! HELP ME!



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