Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Why the life is so unfair?

Okay, I didn't go totally crazy, I was just wondering. I have a lot of friends who is going trough a really hard time of their lives, and half of them are really important too. There are some people who don't want to talk about it, and there are people, who can't get better without a talk. Personally I have a huge problem too, for almost 4 years now. I'm in those people's group who don't like to talk about their problems, just keep it to themselves. Well, that's really who I am. I don't want people to feel sorry about my situation. Okay, they actually would never think that I have a problem like this.I never act like a suffering crone. I try to smile no matter what happened, and it's so not easy sometimes. I told it to my best friend just in this summer. So you might understand me.
I only write down this story because of somebody, who is really sad about a death, and for some other friends, who don't feel very well.
So the whole thing started like 4 years before at around Christmas time. My dad came home, and he didn't really felt good. He always had temperature, and he felt bad, but it went like this for months. Whenever he went to a doctor, they always told him, that is just some stressing, and that's why he is ill all the time. Well, he got enough of doctors, and when he was ill again, he didn't go to any at all. And of course he didn't care about what we were thinking. We thought that he should go back to a doctor or something, but he was just adamant. So I don't really know how it happened, cause I was on holiday, you know out of town, but my mom called and I could hear something in her voice, which I haven't heard before. Something like....rue or fear. When I got home, she told me that dad has cancer. And it isn't going in any right ways. He had it a lot of parts of his body. This was the hardest thing ever for me to accept. I had never felt like that before. My dad was waiting for surgery like 3-4 days, and every second was dangerous for him. I hated the waiting, every day was so long. But the only thing that gave me strength was my dad's attitude. I swear that he was behaving like nothing happened. He was whistling and joking all the time. I just couldn't understand. I even thought about that he doesn't care about it. But now I get it. He said that if he would be sad, or really mad, nothing will change, he can't change things with his anger or sadness.
So here we now, after 4 years, and he is still in his best mood, and yes, he is still ill. None of us know if he get better or not. We just have hopes, but the time goes really fast, and sometimes I'm just worried.
So I just wanted to say that if you have something bad going on your life, you shouldn't be unhappy, or mad, cause you will fix nothing with it. I've learnt it. You can bet.



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