Monday, April 26, 2010

If the laziness would hurt......

I can't tell you how big guilt I feel, thinking of my laziness through the last weeks. Let's just start that I am lacking on the posts. I literally post one or two in a week, instead like 5. And when I hardly make myself to write something, it's usually all about a big and dripping NOTHING! But it's not just about my blog, it's even my personal life. My work gets worse at the school by every day that pass, and I just feel more tired after a bad day, and after a bad day I my school work is even worse. That's how it just goes.I realised it today, when I faced with my E labeled math exam. I still don't know how it happened, cause, I admit, I was never good at math, but I never really got E ranked exams. N-E-V-E-R! So this just made me think for a little while, during some classes, and I know what's going on with me. It's April's last week, which means that I only have to bear a month at school, and that makes me feel that I have to do nothing. And there is the fact that I am at school, and living that gyratory life, where I have to take care of everything, and have to keep every little thing in my mind, since September, and if I have just a little mistake, immediately I am the wrong person. Come on! I mean we are all humans, and we gotta have some mistakes, cause nobody's perfect. 
So I was analysing myself for a long time, and I dagnostised myself with chronic tiredness. I am tired of waking up with the cocks, I am tired of not having an afternoon when I don't have to do something, I am tired of the learning, I am tired of walking to school at 7:00 AM, and I am sick of being in that situation when someone always tells me what to do or what not to do !!! It makes me mad. It makes me wanna run out of this stupid world, where I don't even know what to do with myself. I don't even know who i supposed to be, or what I supposed to do in the future. Well, who knows, maybe I will die the next day, or I will live a hundred more years, but still it's something that they should allocate during birth or something. Like you are going to be a doctor, she is going to be an actress...etc. I know I sound stupid but I just want to know sometimes that should I really take care of everything that much?!
Let's just switch the subject! I don't have school on Friday (thank god), cause it's the graduation day for the seniors. We all (juniors) have to help with the decorations, and stuffs like that, so it won't be a very stressful day. It's just such a sad day. I mean for the seniors. Cause when I was graduating from Elementary school, it was kinda a sad day for me, and High school is a bigger thing, I think. So I am just sooo thankful to have three more years. Now,  I think I start to arrange things in my life again, and I think I should start it with cleaning my room out, which looks like a battlefield. 



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