Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Choosing beetwen Love and Friendship

I am so sorry! I know that I had gone, but there is a serious, and wasn't-so-unexpected problem between me and Merci! I think we actually like the exact same guy....And that's not even enough, because he is our classmate. I won't say his name, but OMG! I know that someday this is going to overhaul us. We didn't had a guy to fight on before, cause we didn't met that perfectly cute guy, but now I don't even know what I feel. I think I might be.....scared. But I tell you excatly what had happened! I tell you the story....
There is that framville game, and that was what brought us together. Me, Merci, and "he" were online all the time this weekend, and Merci started talking with him. You know I didn't care much, when she mentioned, but after a time I was really angry, cause she couldn't stop talking about the fun, they had, and it was really exasperating hear the same all the time. Then he wrote to me on facebook and we started chatting as well, but only a few sentences. I thought that he is cool, but that was all. But then.....yesterday Merci didn't have internet, so she asked me to do something in her farm. So I went to facebook, and first logged in as myself, to make my farm done fisrt. And then I saw that he was in level 13 (he was teasing me that he'll pass me) and I wrote to him, that how he dared! :) (As a joke) And from that moment we talked from 6pm to 10pm. We couldn't stop laughing, and I had a funny evening like that a really-really long time ago! Really! I was laughning uncontrollably for four hours. We actually talked about everything. From school to even some hairs....:D So there was everything....And slowly we talked to each other like we have known each other for years. Then he said that I am a very bouncing girl, and that felt so good. That was the first thing which scared me....and then when we said our not-so-wanted goodbyes, he called me in a really cute name! It's hungarian and I can't translate it, but it was really sweet (hajnal virágszál)! In the evening I was thinking about him, and this is an another frightening thing. Then in the morning I woke up really happily, that I'll met him, but when I met Merci, everything turned bad! 
When I just mentioned her that I talked to him, she literally foze down for a moment, but then she made herself to show a miserably fake smile. I didn't really make it a big deal, I thought that she wanted to talk to him as well. As we made our way to the school, I told her that we had a really big fun, and she started to ask questions about us. Like how much we talked, or was it really good or not, and things like that. When I told her that we talked 4 hours, she fulminated out of herself and told me to disabe him, and don't talk to him or if he writes me, don't answer. I was really indignant! It's okay that she is my best friend, but she can't tell me what to do. I told her that I won't disable him, cause I don't want to, and I am not a jerk. She just didn't seem to forget it, but the english class started. And there I realised that she was crying. I immediately got it! She likes the guy. And what was even worse....I realised that I like him too. When I asked her what's wrong, she didn't speak to me, but then she laid on my shoulder and she said that she doesn't want to love him. And I felt the same. Cause to be honest he is the guy who I could fall in love with. For the rest of the day we didn't mentioned him, but I was always searching for his look. Actually I was thinking about him half of my day...
But somehow we all went to the cafeteria together. Gosh! He just wanted to talk me, I saw it! He actually started talking to ME! But I saw Merci standing next to me, and I knew that she'll hate me if I just start chat with him so I only responsed with a slight smile. He didn't even talked to me again, and he seemed sad. So, OMG! Am I the one who imagine things? Or what is going on here?!!! 
When we reached Merci's house, she told me again not to speak to him. I was really tired because of that and other school things, so I really turned rusty. Then she finally said that Ok, talk to him I don't really care, but call me if you guys talk. 
Then we talked about him a bit before I headed home. She asked me if I like him or not....And I had to lie!!! OMG! How she looked at me...I told her I only love him as a friend. So right now I don't know what to do, and I don't know how I feel, and I don't know if Ishould talk to him or not?! Advices, please?!



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