Foreign guys, just like Rob Pattinson

Well, I am that dumbfounded that I don't even know where to start! It's all about Merci! She met a guy on facebook, who lives in Turkey. This was 3 days ago. On Saturday they started talking via webcams because some of our girlfriends were there. On Sunday this guy told her that his totally in love with her!!!!!! I was like what?! while all of the girls in my class were melting! I looked like I am way jealous, because I wasn't really fainting from him, and so on....And still to this moment this is poking me. I don't think that a guy who lives miles away from here and not even speak the same language could fall in love with a girl in 2 days. I mean they CAN'T even fall in love, because they try to speak in english but their vocabularies only mean like four of five words: hi, honey, love, yes, no! This is kinda all that they can say to each other, because he can't speak english...not even hungarian. So I don't know, maybe there's something wrong with me, but I still think that he is making fool of her, and to be honest I don't want my best friend, to be a sad, and broken hearted girl, because of someone who doesn't even deserve her attention. I told her my opinion this afternoon, and she said that she doesn't even believe in him, but I gosh, I can see it in her, that she's tottaly into him, and she expects something from this whole thing! I am worried about her! I am afraid that she'll hurt, very much....They say that she needs my advices, but I can't say better than ask him that actually what the hell does he want from her?!! She doesn't want to ask this...Maybe it's this self-delusion from her, but I don't know what to think, and what to say to her! Please!!!!!! Give me advices, and tell me your opinions!!!! I need help! Am I too awaring??? Or Am I right? And what  more should I tell her?

Then OMG!!! I was just sitting here, in my bed, and I was doing this blog post, and my tv was on. I wasn't listening to it, but one name hit my ears. ROBERT PATTINSON!!!! He is in my place, in Hungary and filming a movie!!!! I can't even believe that he is like only 20 kilometres away from me, and he is walking around on the same path where I used to every single day. A lot of girls are chasing him around, and of course I would like to see him, but I don't think that I'll run after him if he cathes my eyes somewhere. So right now I don't think that I'll get any sleep later this evenig. 

XOXO, LD

One day can mean mourning and feast

Happy name day to myslef!!! :D:D ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Name_day#Hungary )

Here we are again! The day when we are mourning instead of the party that we should throw. We would absolutely have a lot of people here, cause I, of course, would invite all of my friends, and I think we would spend the day amazingly. But this is the day when my grandma died, exactly eighteen years ago. I didn't know her, and of course she didn't know me either. I bornt 2 years after her death. When my parents chose my name, didn't know which day is it, but when they realised it, they didn't want to change it. These days my grandpa always in deep sadness, and he just sticks it to other people too. This morning he was the first who wished me to have this day houndred times more in my life, and he seemed happy....but then we had breakfast he just looked really sad. I wanted to hug and comfort him, but then I rather chose to stay in the background. I think he is a bit made for himself. He doesn't really like when someone take care of him. He doesn't like to show that he is old, he doesn't even let anybody to do anything instead of him. He usually does the washing up, sometimes he cleans the house, makes my bed....and whenever we try to dissuade him to do these things, he just pisses off. So I rather let him to do it, just like now, mourning deep inside of himself. He maybe feels better because he does this thing. I mean he didn't have any women in his life since grandma died. He really loved her. But she is dead for 18 years now. Which is really-really heart-breaking. So today when me and my mom were about to go to buy some things in a mall, just mentioned me grandma. She misses her so much, and she said that sometimes when she can't sleep, she often thinks of her. I almost cried....

And now, to make this post a little bit happier....as I was writing here, a man just started to play in an accordion while he was walking around the houses, and my grandpa just gave gim money to stand under my window and play for me. I was shocked. :D He was smiling at me, and playing. Actually he did it very well, but I have no idea who was this person....I never saw him, or anyone walking around and playing in an accordion. But it was way tooooo sweet from my grandpa. I love him!! :) I think this was the sweetest present for me. 

And to talk about the present and make this a little bit of haul blog post I tell you what I got from my parents. I got a leather pink, and purple huge wallet with flowers on it. And it looks adorable. Then I got pride and prejudice for my name day...so it wasn't a suprise. Then I also got some money, and I think that's all...Now, I'm going because I think I'll help my mom cooking. I am starving....:)

XOXO, LD

It means just an another year

Why do people make such a big deal about a name day? I don't know how many countries celebrate name days, but I think some people might overreact it. Ok, I really do love to get presents this day, but all I have to say that this whole thing only means that an another year passed again over us, and sometimes this year seems only a month or a week...I clearly can remember what I exactly did a year and a day ago.  I was celebrating with Merci, at my place, and we were after a hard school day, on Friday. We ordered pizza, and just talked for hours. My parents didn't really make a big deal about that, and I don't even remember what I get. From Merci, I know that I got hair curlers, and I got Zac Efron socks....:D I was a huge fan a year ago....still I haven't really weared it, and to be honest I don't really want to....it looks sooooo cool. So it was my last years celebration, and I remember that when I was a child I only got flowers and chocolate, but now many people stress a lot on my presents. Wouldn't it be so easy to give me a bouquet of flowers? I would feel really honored, because I really love flowers...but they just want to buy something permanent. And this morning I was surprised when I saw a huge Betty Boop paperbag in my best friend's hand. I instantly got the whole thing, she didn't really have to say "Happy name day" or something....I was way too pleasured that I got a Betty Boop bag, and I had to admire it for like 5 minutes before looking inside. I got Jane Austen's Persuation, which I haven't read before, but I heard that it's a great book. Then I just got a Betty Boop mirror, which looks extremely cute!!!! I was in amazement. Then I got a Betty Boop keychain too, and little envilop with a card in it. It says happy name day to the bestest friend. Awwww! :) So my day just tured out pretty well, confuting my early morning feelings, that the life is not made for me this day.

Tomorrow you won't guess who's coming around....yes, my sister's boyfriend. I think he only comes here, because he knows how much jealousy I feel for the happy couples...:) But let's just face it, they ARE happy, and this is sooo unfair. But I am, of course, happy for them. I am sooo corious that he will say anything to me or not...:D Cause my name day is actually on Saturday, but I got the present from Merci today, cause she won't be able to give it to me tomorrow. So I am just corious....

Then I just want to buy Nicholas Sparks's Last song, which only comes out on the last day of March here. I just need to finish two books before I buy it....:S I hope there will be more when I got there, because in the front cover of the book, there is Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth. I think it's the movie poster, but I am not sure. 

XOXO, LD

PS.: The picture is the cover of the book.

Is the spring better with a guy?

Will this really last forever? 

I didn't really got an answer for this question since I used to ask this from myself as long as I became a tenager. These days the spring finally reached my little town, with its sunshine, and warmth. And now, all I can see is cuddling couples walking side by side and hand in hand in the warm wind, while they seem to really enjoy each other's company. I could deduce it from their cracking kisses, and tinkling laughters which they share in every minute. I think only one thing can mess these couples cloudless happiness, and this thing is my envious look, and my disturbing shoe with a squelchy sole because of my drool dripping out of my mouth straight to the ground as I look at them. Well that's not that idyllic, but they have to bear me....if I bear them too. So the pont is that I want my smart, funny, and intelligent other half of me to finally find me. Am I asking for too much? Or maybe am I asking something impossible? Ok, I don't say that I seriously need a guy or something, but it's so hartbreaking to see those so-much-in-love couples walking around, and leaving jealousy in the single girl's heart. Even in my school my friends are seem to make new relationships, while they can only see my sour expression instead of my support. But when I feel that I suffered enough, I just reposing myself with a stupid but simple thing. While they became more and more in love I just learn even more at home, and I become smarter and smarter. I only say that because you won't ever guess what happened today!! I just got a B for my physics essay! Which is a miracle in my life...:) The teacher even told me that she is proud of me. I was about to stand up, and dance through the classroom, but then I just softly smiled at the teacher. 

As I mentioned my sister's boyfriend visited us for th first time, and I have to say that he is really cute, and a thousand times better than her old boyfriend. He looks smart and intelligent with his bright blue eyes, and he seems to be in a really good mood, because he is always smiling or laughing at something. I think that I don't have to mention that he is super funny too....I think some bad luck follows me or smething. Why can't I just find a guy like him? I mean of course I make a fool of me in front of guys like them....when he just introduced himself to me I only could say a shy hello, and that was all. Later when they asked me what's wrong I just humbled myslef and used the always believable excue: I am just tired! So it was kinda embarassing...Now I have to go! Have a nice day!

XOXO, LD

Introduction, books, and lating, all in one

Gosh! I'm just flustering out of my pants....My sister's boyfriend coming around for the first time ever, and I just don't know how to act, how to say hi, or even just how to dress up. I had never been good in meeting new people, because I am way too nervous, and I don't know what to say, and my face turns crab red and they think that I'm a total idiot. But I just have this problem....well I think I should go and see a doctor...So today I was cleaning my room, arranging everything and just stuffs like that. Before, in the morning I just went out to a mall, bacuse I had to buy an another oxford bookworms book...which I have to read until April. It's Gulliver's travels. So I won't be bored.

And today I just talked with an old friend of mine again, after a really really long time. And it made me happy. Ohhh! I almost just forget about that. I finally made myself to buy  pride and prejudice, because I just love the 6 hours long movie, but I haven't really read it before. So now I can just adoring it. :) Also, yesterday evening was just way too funny. To understand the whole thing I tell you  a few things before I start the story.

1.: My sister is working as you know, and she has her own car and everything, but she has a really good friend at her workplace and this friend always picks her up, and takes her to the office too.

2.: My sister is never on time. No matter how much earlier she wakes up, it's just her. We just used to it, because we are sisters, but sometimes, I just got  mad too, when we have to arrive somewhere. So, her friend is ALWAYS waiting in the car every single morning, and they both arrive later. Until yesterday...:)

Because her friend just left her here....:) I think he (because this friend is a he) just got enough of the eternal waiting, and nicked off. Well, we weren't blaming him or everything but yesterday evening we were laughning on him a lot. He acts childishly, because he is now mad at my sister, because he didn't go down in time. But come on. He should be malevolent or something....they talked about before, and my sister clearly told him, that he can go if she lates, and now he did it, and he pissed off. Cool! So we were laughing a lot in this situation, and now I am just nervous....he will be here in 3 hours I think...Well, I hope I won't make a fool of myself. Wish me all the best, please!!! :)

What do you think, how I should act? Or when I hear that they arrive, should I go out of my room, or wait till they just come to my room?? 

XOXO, LD

Something reeks here...so much!

Hi everyone!

Right now I'm sitting here and munching on my breakfast, because my lessons for today had been cancelled.....by me! :) Just don't judge me! You'll think that I'm always like that, but today was an emergency. Yesterday we were celebrating my sister's 24th birthday and I had no time to learn for a huge exam...which is coming today. So I rather chose to stay at home, and doing nothing. But there is something which always sticks my eyes. I don't know maybe there is something wrong with me, but I can't get it. In short the problem is a guy. I mean I am not outraged because of the guy, just because of the situation. Me and Merci didn't go to school today as I mentioned, and we were already up at 8. So we logged into messenger. As we were talking we realised that our friends are online and we couldn't take it anywhere, cause they supposed to be at school. So we started a conversation (they were only because the teacher let them use the net), and they told us that while they were walking to the school, the guy we adore just started talking to them. This guy obviously one of the best in my school, and he looks a bit like Robert Pattinson. Who wouldn't like him? So he already caught our adoring eyes melting out of their places,  like a million times, and all I can say is that I think he was a bit frightened of the sudden devotion which he got in this year. So the point...I received the news disbelievingly, because I was wayyyy jealous of them. What the hell is going on here? When I am not with them he just walks over to talk?!!! Actually the girls we are talking about not that pretty. I am NOT mean, but really. I know a lot of gorgeous girls, but they are actually not, and he just likes them? I can not believe it! So we are a bit depressed this morning, and we think that we have to be really ugly or something even worse. I don't know. 

But I just tell you about the "party"....First of all. You may know that I ordered a towel for her, and they said that I can take it home a week later which was yesterday. I was a bit scared that I have to take it on her bday, but I was way happy that I can give it to her in time. When I arrived to the shop, and I rattled what I want, because I was in a rush, cause I had to buy candles too, the shop assistant was lokking at me like I came from a different planet. She slowly told me that the towels arrive the next day. I almost rip my hair out. I have to go back today, but if it won't be there I'll rip the girl's hair out. 

So eventually everything turned good by the evening, I even calmed down. When I arrived home, someone was ringing, and my dad checked who was it. I didn't really give any attention to it, but when my dad came back with a huge bouquet of roses and lilies, I almost fell over. Then I immediately understood everything. It was from her boyfriend who is working in Spain right now, and he couldn't be here with her. When my sister came home, she checked the card, and it simply said: Happy birthday honey, I wish you the best. I was actually in tears. This is the sweetest thing ever. Then she told me that in the morning when she arrived to her workplace, there was a little, red box , and sweeties on her desk. It was from HIM! It was two pairs of beautiful earrings. She still has no idea how he did it. 

Later this evening we ate a lot of pizza, because we didn't go out anywhere, and then we just served the cake with a huge candle 24 on it. She didn't really want to be 24, she always says that she is really old, and craps like that. To 10pm I was exhausted, and I barely could make my eyes stay open, so I went to sleep with the heady sense that I don't have to wake up in the morning.

XOXO, LD

PS.: The birthday girl is in the middle in the white pulover. I'm in the pink....:)

The screaming girl deep inside

However I know this is me, I feel like a whole different person had been locked inside of me. I do things I never thought that I would do, in both bad and good ways, which scares me. I am not that girl. I used to always tell the truth, not just look at someone's face and not tell the right things. I feel like if I keep doing this it might hurt my personality, or maybe it will hurt someone else, or myself, which would be even worse. I don't wanna hurt anybody, just like myself. I have to stop doing this, and just be the girl I used to be. I just don't know where to start it, because what I started to do, is almost a part of me right now, and I can't just clear it with a white handkerchief. But I am absolutely sure about one thing. I don't want to do this anymore! A really good, smart and loveable person made me wanna change back, and this person doesn't even know about that. I think this someone doesn't really like me, I mean we are keeping in touch, but I feel that we have something between us. Something like a big hole or a tear. We know each other but I think this person has a judgement of me, which is not that good. And I feel that this is a bit unfair, bacause we haven't really got the time to get to know each other as well as we would need to have a right point of our characters. When I'm doing this what I used to these times, I just wanna rip my hair out, or just slam my head againts the wall. But sometimes I just feel only pain or shame, or.....nothing. But of course none of the people around me knows anything about that, or anything about what I'm going trough since I had been 12. I never really talked about these to anyone, only a few times to my sister, but hey! I am almost 16, and I almost keeping things inside of me for 4 years now. And I can't just comlpain to anybody, I can't scream it out to my friends, or I can't let myself cry, because they have no idea about some of my things. So, Ok let just move on! I promise that I'll change, and I'll be the girl who I really am! 

Just to talk about something else, when I got home Friday evening, I had a really good night actually. After all the things that happened to me. I had a great girly chatting with my sister, and we were laughing until 11 pm, when we were sent to sleep, cause we were really loud, and my sister didn't even showered. So in that evening we planned to go to watch a movie the next day. We actually wanted to watch Alice in wonderland in 3D imax, but all the seats were booked for the next couple of weeks. So I mentioned Lovely bones, and Valentine's days too, but then we just decided to go shopping all day, and we did buy a bounch of cool things. I even bought headbands which I haven't weared for ages. Then in the end of the day we bought food from Mcdonald's which we ate at the car. :) The next day we didn't really do anything, we just kinda helped each other cleaning out, because my parents left home for a day, and they asked us. She made me breakfast!! She was really cute! Then for lunch we went to a ......(drumbeat).....Mcdrive. I know, I'll look like an elephant, but I just deserved it, bacuse in the evening we went to kangoo. It was good, but now it wasn't that good as I expected. Or maybe I was just tired. I mean I had a reall good time, but I think this time wasn't as good as the previous. So now It's a Monday morning and I have no school because we have a feast here, so I am way happy. Have a nice day!

XOXO, LD

An inexplicable, and strange feeling

This is ridiculous what had happened to me today!  

Let's just mention that I have an excuse to my behavior, because it's Friday, which is the last working day of the week, and it means, that I woke up super early for five days, and on the fifth, I feel  like a rag. That's how happened this with me today.

Merci asked me sleep at her place because her mother gets home really late, and his father is out of town, so she didn't want to be alone. I wasn't that sure, but I said yes, and we also set that we are going to shopping this afternoon, because we had to buy presents, which we didn't find at least, but we ate at KFC and we bought books. Actually we had a really great time together, but when we were going home I already felt that I am really-really tired. When you're eyes closing by themselfves, and you just don't notice anything around you. Well that was with me. Then when I got home, I had to collect all of my energy to have a shower, and make my way to Merci's place. And there is where the problem begins. 

I just entered the house, and some strange, but not really unknown feeling had gone through me. I had that huge panic, and all I wanted was to go home. I have no idea what happened to me that moment, but then I just acted really weird. Merci could not make a simple converstation with me, and whenever she asked me what's the problem, I just said that I'm tired! But there was something else too! I know. I felt it! Something really bad in my stomach. I mean a bad feeling. I almost cry. OMG! I was like a five years old girl, who wants to go home, or wants an ice cream really badly. I knew that I have to go home, cause if I'm not I'm gonna do something. Then I just told her that I hope she won't be mad at me, bu I think I'll go home, and stuffs like that! She said that nothing happened, but I know that she wasn't happy. I know her well enough.

Well I am at home right now, and I feel way better. I am extremely tired, but happy to be at home, in my own room, my own bed and I'm about to start the new book I bought. Still to this moment I don't know what happened to me, and I feel really ashamed because I didn't want to hurt Merci's feelings that much, but to be honest, in that moment mines were much more important.

XOXO, LD

In a Bettylicous mood

OMG! Why the hell I have to bare this? I can't believe! I'm gonna explode of the angriness. I can't tell you how much I'm mad at my sister right now! Jesus! She's been at the bathroom for an hour now, and I told her to hurry like a million times, cause I need to learn, but as it seems she didn't really care about me.

So now after an another hour, I had showered, washed my hair, and stuffs like that, but really I was mad at her. Which is the even funnier, today I went to a hypermarket with my mom, cause I was looking for south park plush figures, for my sister's birthday. I couldn't find any, and then I thought that I'll go to an another toy store or someting, when we passed a present store, and I saw the towels, which you can order with your own text on it. I did make one for Merci wth the text "Merci, the best friend" and it was a huge success with her, so I ordered an another one, with "The best sister". But maybe a bad luck follows me, cause I wanted the towel to be purple and the text yellow, but the only I could chose were bad colors, so I picked a darker pink, with and even darker pink text, but I think it will be ok. I wanted the purple and yellow because those are my sisters favourite. And the other that the towel will be ready next Thursday which is her bday! So before the whole present, and cake thing I have to rush to the store and take it, then buy a paperbag or something. And I still have to buy her something, just I don't know what. I was thinking about that I should still looking for those south park toys. She loves that something...

And gosh! I just fell in love with Betty boop! I want sheets, exercise book cases, pillows...everything which has Betty Boop in it. Actually there isn't anything more I could write about, so I think I'm gonna go to sleep! 

XOXO LD

A new addiction

First of all I want to wish a really beautiful women's day to all of you girls! I have nothing interesting to do otherwise I wouldn't sit here with a string of chocolate, so I hope you'll enjoy it better. I don't even have a boyfriend to celebrate with. What a wretch I am! :)

To be honest I don't feel very well right now, I don't know what happened, I'm just freezing in a moment and in the next I am hot. And my stomach is hurting too, cause I think I ate too much, because when I got home from school I was starving, and I just ate everything in my way. So you can imagine. 

So yesterday.....well, I don't even know where to start....the first spinning wasn't that hard as I expected, but it was way enough to feel extremely tired, but after we went to the gym and I ran for like 30 minutes, then we went to that simple body training, and after 20 minutes we left the class, because the only thing we did was for the legs, and they were already hurting after spinning, so I think it was fear. Then it was around 2, and we decided to go home, and so we did.

When I got home my sister, who was planned to go to the gym at 5 to reach the kangoo, was really suprised, and she just made me somehow to go back. But I didn't want to go without Merci, so I called her, and she said that she won't come back and things like that, but then I just made her to come with us. So let me add that this was the very first time that I have ever had a kangoo jumps shoe on my feet, and I barely could stand. But the first problem was that we didn't know that we should have sneakers on or not when we go out of the changing room...:D But forgetting these little balks I fell in love with this sport. I just LOVE the whole feeling, when everybody is jumping around, the music, which is really great, is really loud, and everyone is screaming. I think I found my perfect excercise. I said that spinning is goos, but I always felt that something is missing, when I'm cycling. Well I think I found out. I was missing this crazy feeling. OMG! It was really good. 

Now I have a muscle strain in my legs, my arms., and even in my stomach. 

XOXO, LD

The sunshine in my life

Hey guys!  

So my mood is actually the best since this certain problem happened here. I am finally ALONE, just by myself cause SHE is working and later she is going out with her almost-boyfriend. So I hope that she'll get home really late, and we won't see each other just in the morning. 

The other reason for my happiness, is the sunshine. It's ok that here is around 5 celsius, and I'm still freezing as I sit here, but the sunshine is way enough for now. And of course right now I'm talking with HIM, and he always gives me the best mood, with his charm, provision, and gentleness. Some day a girl would really-really love him. And I think in a point I'll be jealous. Not because I love him, just because I think every girl deserves a guy like him, but not all of us is that lucky. Well, I hope that girl will be really sweet, and caring. I'll commend it to her!!!! Watch out honey, I'll be there! :D

I don't think I mentioned before that...ok, I think you know these traditions but I explain it. Before we finish school, at June, we have a 4 days long holiday with the class. Each class can go wherever they want to go. Well, we are going to lake Balaton, to have a 4 days long cycling-tour. Me and Merci couldn't be more joyful, but the other part of the class are revolting. I don't know. I think it will be one of the best parts of the summer, and I think that it won't be hard. Otherwise it's an elemental truth that biking is not hard. Just spinnig but that's a whole other theme. If we can spin the pedal without stopping for 60 minutes I think I'll be able to do this. And I don't think that a 16 years old have to do spinning to be able to do a little biking around a beautiful lake.

So I think it was yesterday when we were talking with Stacy (my teacher and my friend as well) and you know that we haven't seen her boyfriend before. Ever!! And she just spilled out that she is bringing him too, to the holiday. OMG! My mouth dropped and we looked at each other with Merci, which of course was caught by Stacy. She just laughed at us, but we are actually really corious, to meet him! I never expected that I'll ever gonna see him. Obviously, I can't wait till June. 

And OMG! I just figured it out yesterday, that I have only 3 months left from school, which is absolutely weird. I mean we just started it, I remember when I wrote down how much I hate that I have to wear black and white on the very first day. And now we have only 3 months left. YAY! I can't wait until summertime! Beaches, sunhine, free time, and sleeping is all about summer, and way more. The best time of the year! And me and my sisters also planning to go somewhere together. Just the three of us. It would be loads of fun! 

Last but not least! Tomorrow is gonna be a really hard day for me. I wake up at around 7.30 and I'm heading straight to the gym, because we have full-day long, free tickets to all of the trainings, because Monday is woman's day. We are going to have a 90 mitutes long spinning, then an hour break, then a simple body training, then an another 60 minutes long spinning, which I'm not sure to go, and the last is a Kangoo jumps at 6 to 7. At the breaks we are going to work out at the gym I think. So  all I can say is that we'll die! :D 

XOXO, LD

Gonna get a gun and shoot myself....

Hi everyone!

I'm greeting every single person in this wonderful, shiny day which means the beggining of the spring. I'm sooo happy, but I heard that the next week is going to snowing, so I'm a bit sad, but right now it's March, which is pretty good. Since I have my name day this month, on the 27th, and we have my sister's bday party on the 17th it's gonna be a really good month. I mean I don't really have any plans or something, but I hope that my name day will be a really warm day, with a lots of sunhine. I mean the 27th day of March was always sunny and warm as I can remember. We weren't living here when I was a child, and I can remember that the sun was always shining trough the window. So back there...nowadays I don't see these days that happy and cloudless. But let's hope this year will bring me something new. 

Also as I mentioned, my sister turning 24 this month which is really scary. I mean I got stucked when she was 20. I can't believe it....She's planning the moving, and stuffs like that, which is scary too....I never really thought about this before, and this is just freaking me out. Like never really see my sister only in the weekends like twice in a month?! Gosh!

And the other thing! I'm extremely depressed these days, and of course the reason is that PERSON! I told you before in the last post, and I don't really want to say anything, just that SHE makes my life impossible. I don't really know how I'll survive this. We only live together for 3 days but I almost killed myself a few times. Gosh, and it seems that she's not staying a month....it seems like she stays 2!!!!!!! What the hell I'll do? I'm really in a huge depression! I don't have a place where I can be on my own, and this is killing me. I need to be alone at home. I mean when I want to be with someboby I go to that person's room, but not now as it seems. The main thing which makes me really mad, is that she doesn't get that I have to go to school really early, and I have to go to sleep at 10 at least. But no, she doesn't go to school of course, so she is in front of the computer all evening and banging the keyboard which hurts my ears. And the one thing which is even worse, she is talkig to her friends, but they were together all day long. I'm gonna go crazy, and I don't know what should I do, to survive this month, then she'll go home a little bit, for a couple days, but then she is gonna get back again! I'm gonna bet sick If I'm gonna do this the whole month. Oh and the other thing, I almost have to fight to get here....It's ridiculous!!

Ok, I don't wanna look like that I'm just complaining here, but Merci is stupid nowadays too. Right now she is talking to an another girlfriend of our, and she doesn't tell me what's the problem, just to that girl! That's so sweet from her! :S I'm so mad at her these times. 

XOXO, LD